Flu Shots

It started by walking into the doctors office with the RN and my son saying "I think there are three gender types Mom, male, female and gay!"  I should have known that it would all go downhill from there.  Riley the brave goes first and barely a wimper and she bled!  Jackson next, well you would have thought we were going to tar and feather him the way he behaved.  I had to use one of my safety care positions just to hold him in place and help the nurse get 2 shots (yes to get a flu shot without preservatives you need 2!) into one leg!  And 2 band-aids and a lot of threats and squeezes and yelling (on my part) and we walked out with a Sponge Bob sticker and onto the next topic for him, holding a grudge for me still and it is just about 3  hours later! I told the nurse I was sorry that she had to live through that and I made him apologize for, and I quote "Being a baby!"  Then I commented that at least I could have a glass of wine when I got home (This is all going in my file I am sure!  maybe I'll be on the nightly news)   I ranted and raved at him in the car and on the way to the car I'll tell you.  I'm not sure he heard a word I said but with each comment I grew more angry and it wasn't until I decided on the way home to stop at CVS to get Tylenol (just incase either of them had a sore reaction to the shot) that I stood in line waiting to buy by Tylenol and 3 Chocolate bars too (just for me!) that I felt it GUILTY and that I was a TERRIBLE mommy.  How does that happen I asked Jackson when we got home.  How is it that I feel sick and terrible and you've gotten over it so quickly "I don't have a memory for that stuff Mom" he said.  I wish I was as lucky.  He'd forgotten my ranting and I had to explain again to him why I was angry and why I had to hold him down..."because you really wanted me to have that shot? ....because it wasn't a choice for me??  No, I explained, for your safety (and that of the nurse too!)  Will he ever get it?  Back in the car, and he asks for his favorite radio station an a volume that is an "even" number and I refuse as if denying him the radio is some sort of punishment for the scenario we just lived through.   It didn't make me feel any better so Kiss 108 went on and I went into my own silent mess of a mind!  What's next I wonder?